chiann

2011-12-01T23:52:00.004+08:00

今天我看到了那些照片，很奇怪，与我无关的事，但眼眶顿时湿了。

很想说说这个故事。

那年我表姐不顾家里人的劝阻，嫁给了一个据说长辈们都不看好的人。

生了两个儿子，我最最最疼爱的侄子，虽然他们也不过小我两三岁。家人对我来说，除了爸妈，就是这几个和我一起长大的玩伴。我没有兄弟姐妹，他们就是。

七岁那年，他们的爸爸有一天就突然收拾行李走出家门。原来他不要他们了，在外面有了别的女人。

我表姐崩溃了。他走出家门的那一天，他小儿子才三岁。

七岁的我，连续剧看多了，我完全知道大人们在发生什么事。虽然还不懂事，却也记得那一阵子，家里是多么的动荡，长辈们的脸上是写着多么多的烦恼。

自此以后这话题当然变得敏感。只知道，那几年我表姐没有一天是正常过日子。

那男的有自己的家庭。也没有尽过父亲的责任。

这些年来我看着两个侄子心真的很疼。家里聚会的时候，唯独他们家和别人不一样。他们很尊敬我，但是他们越是把我当姐姐，我就越觉得有责任疼他们，虽然我什么也做不了。

近几年听说他们爸爸那一边的家庭感情也不好。

我第一个反应是：报应。活该。狐狸精本来就该死。即使现在我也还是这样想。你们真的很活该。虽然孩子永远是无辜的。

但是今天，第一次看见他们爸妈一同出现在同一张照片里。为了大儿子二十一岁生日。照片里有他们俩，还有两个儿子各自的女朋友。

看了心很酸。很感叹。

我一直想，他到底有没有在后悔。如果当初不干这种事，现在是不是就可以像照片里的一样，一家人开开心心，看着儿子长大成人，渐渐展开各自的生活。谁看了都欣慰。虽然现在说这些也已经太迟了。

我开心的是，看见我疼爱的他们都和我一样渐渐成长。他们现在都很幸福。上一代的事好像对他们没有太大影响。这样就好。

人的一生会有很多错误的决定。但有些事，谁都不可以做错，因为错了就没有回头。我相信因果报应。到头来毁的是自己的人生。一点都不值得。

2011-11-30T23:12:00.002+08:00

never assume.

communicate, discuss.

be open.

accept.

and then change for the better.

you are full of surprises. and it sucks.

2011-11-12T01:07:00.003+08:00

this is what

sustains me.

man.... it's been months...

2011-11-10T23:34:00.000+08:00

today marks the first time i'm vomitting in my entire life.

good. job.

2011-11-04T00:12:00.004+08:00

my boyfriend calls me a banker, and therefore evil.......

........ when i'm neither.

: (

the other day i was talking to a friend, and we came to talk about the job of a consultant. and i said, 'WAH work dog hours one leh! dont want la'

and then he replied, 'your hours very cat now meh?'

only then it strikes me my hours aren't that fantastic either.

but ohwell, i choose to believe one day all these will all amount to something, and i will make sure i make it all worthwhile.

2011-10-26T22:51:00.003+08:00

米老鼠
词：阿信 曲：怪兽


一身黑皮肤 白手套 红短裤
一双大大耳朵 随时在向人打招呼

他是我朋友 陪我笑 陪我哭
尤其是当我 当我最无助 有他听著我倾诉

梦中 城堡里面跳舞
醒了 世界依然残酷

以为我爱著孤独 以为自己不会迷路
以为自己跟自己 再不用谁照顾

以为我爱著孤独 却又崩溃的无助
谁能让我拥抱著 尽情的哭
让我唯一的朋友 不是老鼠

谁是草莓族 你才是榴连族
一身伤人顽固 伤害我 还要我不哭

摩天伦停住 咖啡杯不跳舞
孩子练习著 让悲伤麻木
快乐 也开始麻木

2011-10-18T22:25:00.002+08:00

my heart ached so badly watching the video of a chinese toddler being run over by 2 separate vehicles twice, but the most amazing part being how passers-by pretended as if nothing happened.

what has become of human beings.

extremely disgusted.

2011-09-24T20:58:00.007+08:00

“If there’s an even road, and you keep walking on it, it gets boring. If there’s a bit of a slope, it’s tiring to walk, but you feel accomplished. A bit more, you feel like you won yourself. And a bit more, you feel like you are at the top of the world.

The only difference was the slope.

Shall we try the other way? If there's a road sloping downward, it’s easy to walk. A bit more, it's comfortable. A bit more, you get used to it, and you start falling.

Life needs balance.”

— Choi Min Soo, Strong Heart ep93

Indeed an enlightenment for me today.

2011-09-22T00:34:00.001+08:00

thanks babe.

a call is all it takes to make someone's day.

2011-09-20T00:32:00.000+08:00

MY EXACT SENTIMENTS.

HA HA.

lazy sunday

2011-09-18T18:50:00.001+08:00

sometimes i just wanna roll up in my bed all day.

2011-09-16T00:05:00.003+08:00

那天对话的时候，我经理问我：

What is that one thing that kicks you out of bed every morning?

我想那是我们每天都在寻找的答案。

我没有一套标准答案。但是我诚实地回答了，工作中的成就感，每天都在学习和成长的满足感。

晚上打电话回家的时候，爸爸妈妈好像不能理解为什么我每晚都不能准时下班，每晚都10点到家。对他们来说，那听起来就是一种折磨。我还没有开口说累，他们就已经觉得我会辛苦不来。

但是那算什么。读书的时候，何尝不是考试无止尽，作业一叠，课外活动一箩。十年来我们不也都这样吗。难道10点到家不比半夜3点还在背书本好吗？忙碌都一样。只是形式换了而已。

谁都会有喊累的时候。

但是如果那足以让你觉得充实，忙碌中找得到自己的价值和生命的平衡，那就什么都变得有意义了。

2011-09-15T00:05:00.001+08:00

i totally need a smaller stomach.

my hunger strikes when the clock strikes twelve.

fml.

2011-09-06T23:01:00.003+08:00

햇살이 밝아서 괜찮았어
Afternoon Separation
- JYP & SunYe

(translation)

After exchanging our last good byes and crying,
After hugging each other for the last time,
As we exchanged regrets and apologies,
We wiped each other’s tears away

After time passes and feelings fade away,
We told each other to meet again as friends
And be by each other’s side
And with those finals words and a hug, we parted

Because the sun is so bright and warm
My tears dried - a lot faster than I thought
At first I thought I would die,
I really couldn’t breathe
But the sun was so bright..
That it made it all right.

Just before we parted,
I asked a really stupid question:
Do we really have to break up?
Even if I knew it was too late to turn back
Then like a fool, you became mute
And just stared at me
We both knew, we both knew so well
That we were both afraid to break up.

Because of the bright sun, I could forget my pain
Because of the bright sun, I could stop my tears
Because of the bright sun, I became thankful for the sky

Because of the bright sun…
Because of the bright sun…
It was all right..

----------------------------

Khun tweeted the song, and no other lyrics is more apt than what it is now.

we all knew at some point in time it was going to end. but when it finally arrives, it still takes some time to sink in and settle.

now i sound crazy, but watching you both, it completes another part of my life. i felt awkwardness. felt warmth. felt pain. felt goosebumps. felt helplessness. felt friendship. felt love.

thank you for the great 1 year & 3 months. it has evolved into a habit. nothing beats having something to look forward to every weekend - knowing it's gonna make me smile, without fail. thank you khuntoria.

life is larger than that, of course. just be grateful things happened, and that it'll always be there, in a part of memory. so that ten years later, i can laugh and say, oh those crazy days..

2011-09-03T12:55:00.001+08:00

lazy saturday morning.

2011-09-01T23:32:00.000+08:00

weekly date! :)

to do what we love to do most.

2011-08-25T00:30:00.004+08:00

it's so important to find something you enjoy doing.

a certain something that makes you feel alive all over again.

that sustains you and gives you purpose, no matter how rough the day has been.

i guess all of us have dreams.

sometimes we just need that little push. that determination to say 'YES i have to do it'.

the courage to face our dreams.

and the best people to do it with.

2011-08-22T22:31:00.002+08:00

that made me smile :)

missing those days badly.

2011-08-21T01:07:00.004+08:00

today - 20th aug, is an awesome day.

i got my iPhone up and working.

i had a massive bbq gathering with 18 others, of which quite a number are people i hold dearly to.

i had the heartiest chat with a best friend on phone.

i came home to an episode of khuntoria's maldives which is finally aired! and yongseo's special stage that i've been waiting for so long.

YAY!:)
to all simple joys in life.

2011-08-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

feels useless, abandoned, unwanted and valueless!

2011-08-14T12:23:00.005+08:00

久违了!

^O^

2011-08-10T23:57:00.006+08:00

A Way with Words

had a truly enlightening session today.

i swear i'd never felt this inspired before.

if you'd listened to him, you wouldn't doubt how he got here today. he's sincere as a leader, and motivating as a speaker.

some of the takeaways from the session with Michael, our Country Officer today.

- You don't have to change jobs to feel challenged. In a company as huge as ours, as long as you name it, we have it.

- Few years down the road, your phones will ring every day, people will hunt you down. But do not leave because they offer you twice the salary, because that offer is always going to be there, as long as you are worth that much. Ask yourself, are you sure you have learnt enough here?

- If at any point in time the learning curve flattens, please throw your hands up and say 'hey come on challenge me!'. That way, you'll never stop growing.

- If you're not here to stay, then don't expect me to be nice. Because we are serious about developing people here. There's no other place that empowers you, a newbie, like we do.

- We throw you, with zero experience in banking, into a pool of people with years and years of experience. And they think, what do you kids know? But that's normal of them, because they know there's a long line out there queueing for their positions. So, learn, even from things as small as buying coffee.

- Don't say I'm new and therefore I don't know and it's not my fault. When we throw you to do something, however steep the curve may be, just ride on it and you'll get it.

- I am a Country Officer, and you'll be surprised that, at my level I talk to my people more than I talk to clients. There's no bigger challenge than talent management. Banking is a business of ideas, and ideas are born out of people. If I can't keep my people, I can't keep the business.

- A banking license is a privilege. To be holding people's money is a privilege. Some people get lost along the way but don't even try, because we hold more responsibilities than anybody else. Live up to that trust.

He ended off by asking if we can all make him a promise.

So we said, "Yes."

And then he said, "Today we groom you. But please, don't fire me."

humourous you call it. a way with words i say.

2011-08-08T23:00:00.003+08:00

it's been a while since my blood boiled so bad.

you and your arrogance will get you nowhere, seriously.

that damned attitude of yours needs to be fixed.

do something about it before it comes too late.

2011-08-01T23:12:00.003+08:00

rarrrrrr guess all of us are feeling super lost at work.

i dont just feel like an intern.

what's worse is i feel like an added BURDEN to my dept. lingering around my boss's door every 10 min to check if he's finally free to talk, and thinking whether am i bothering them when i have too many questions that are like DUH to them.

lol. the bosses pretty much dont know what to do with us :\ HAHA such is the life of fresh grads who know close to nothing (this is when u start to wonder what is education for the past 15 years for), and then got thrown into the sea to swim by ourselves.

but it's okay. WE WILL SURVIVE.

"walk on water." --- the one and only motto we live by, lol.

2011-07-27T00:29:00.002+08:00

i hate that my holidays have ended for almost 3 weeks, and i haven't got the discipline to sit down properly and

COMPLETE MY TRAVEL JOURNALS.

some memories need to be archived in words or they never really mean anything.

2011-07-25T22:32:00.001+08:00

YAYYYYYYYYYS so many things to be thankful for.

i've got a good posting. or so i think?

i hope that's a good start

:)

2011-07-24T23:35:00.002+08:00

tomorrow!!!

it used to seem forever but thank god it is now here!

no more worries about not passing. no more worries about second upper.

after eight long months, i finally dare call myself a citibanker.

hello next phase of life!

i'll work hard and become a better person :)

2011-06-11T22:43:00.003+08:00

再多10个小时就要开始的旅程

由独自飞行开始

第一次去旅行就去这么久

前几天的兴奋莫名、迫不及待

化为这一秒钟的忐忑不安

各种问号，各种未知

不过应该都是好的吧

祝我们旅程愉快！

我会成为一个更好的人，好好回来的

2011-06-03T16:10:00.003+08:00

生活中的小幸福很简单。睁大眼睛看看就有。

昨天

我的幸福

来自一班11年的老朋友。

今天

我的幸福

来自一杯豆浆。 :)

2011-05-21T18:45:00.003+08:00

THANK YOUUUUU dear

:)))))))))

2011-05-17T15:39:00.003+08:00

primary school graduation: we hugged together and cried like there was no tomorrow

secondary school graduation: i teared a little, but i no longer remember the occasion and the company whom i teared with

jc graduation: a little sad, but not enough to make me tear

university graduation: the sadness has yet to come to me

it's so surreal.

you mean i'm not going to school anymore?

wow that sounds perfectly fine, even a little great.

but im quite certain i'll miss school.

just not yet.

not yet.

2011-05-17T10:35:00.006+08:00

Your ancestors called it magic...
but you call it science.
I come from a land where
they are one and the same.

--- Thor (2011)

2011-05-14T13:00:00.003+08:00

all-time favourite :>

Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

2011-05-08T00:16:00.005+08:00

今晚的新加坡很热闹。

不知道是我身为一个马来西亚人向来的漠不关心，还是这次新加坡真的不一样了？

恕我直言。

这终究不是我的国家。我没有什么特别的感受。

即使我对于这十年来的栽培多么感恩，毕竟血不流在这个地方，就再深切也切不能心房处的那种心情。

甚至，看着新加坡人口中满满的求进步、求变，我每一刻都在想：你们是不是有点身在福中不知福啊？

当嘴里装满“改革”这类的话，到底知不知道你要改的是什么？革的又是什么？如果不断对一些鸡毛蒜皮的事情吹毛求疵，而不理智地判断现状，对于一个来自样样都比不上这里的邻国的人来说，真的是身在福中不知福。

hmmm...那感觉就好像，我们还在水里挣扎，水面却有人在晒太阳，还投诉天气不够好。

当然，这不能怪，没有人愿意停滞不前。人类都是求进步的。求进步当然好，只要理智、客观便好。

这个小城市感动我的瞬间还是有的。

感受到了人民的力量。团结的力量。

也深深反省了自己：如果我们也能像这样勇敢地爱我们的国家，马来西亚会不会是一个很不一样的地方啊？

我很爱我的国家。但我究竟做了什么？还不就是逃离。一逃还逃了十年。长辈们都说，走啦，未来还很长，可以走的话赶快走，外面哪里都比这里好。

每次听到这种话，会很庆幸自己到了一个比较好(??)的地方，但更多的，是心里的酸。

恨我们为什么这个样子。这是国家。不是说有国才有家吗？

我们如果勇敢一点就好了。

国家国家，有国才有家。

2011-05-05T19:34:00.004+08:00

feel sooooooooooo helpless when you're locked out of your email account

it feels like being locked out of your house

it's been 10 years since the account was created huh!

theres so much inside i cannot lose! not now especially

GIVE IT BACK TO ME GIVE IT BACK TO ME GIVE IT BACK TO ME GIVE IT BACK TO ME GIVE IT BACK TO ME

:'(

2011-05-03T20:51:00.004+08:00

yay finally a new cover

jayesslee still my favourite

how often do you get eyecandies who sing just as good as they look :)

2011-05-01T21:03:00.001+08:00

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

--- J. R. R. Tolkien

2011-04-28T17:14:00.005+08:00

반말송
By: 정용화

love this song.

not because of anything. but because there were so many memories attached to it.

:)

2011-04-21T14:20:00.002+08:00

"It's been said that lasting friends may often go long periods without speaking, and yet never question the friendship. This type of friends can pick up like they've just spoken to you yesterday, regardless of how long it has been or how far away they live, and they don't hold grudges. They understand that life is busy..and you will ALWAYS love them."

@allmydearfriends

certainly not all friends fall into this category but those who do, they know who they are.

2011-04-20T21:19:00.002+08:00

以前不喜欢谢霆锋。

现在也不特别喜欢。

但不能不承认，看他一路走来，他有他值得敬佩的地方。

《十月围城》是他让我刮目相看的开始。

有些人注定就是演戏的。

致谢词当中，向他爸爸道歉的那段，感受很深。

生长在演艺世家，他可以有今天的成绩，而且完全不是靠走捷径得来的，我只能说那是流在他血里的细胞。

我喜欢这种故事：

当全世界都不看好你的时候，反而拼了命地去证明自己的价值。半途中让人刮目相看的人，比一开始就顺风顺水的，来得更好。

还有，看这种颁奖典礼，让我感受到一件事：艺术是很昂贵的事业。

站在观众角度的我们，掏腰包支持艺术，很贵。$9看一部电影，$30买一片DVD，$80看一部歌舞剧，而且还是最便宜的票。

可是站在演艺角度的他们，何尝不是付出了更昂贵的代价。风光背后，我们不能想像。

无论站在什么位置，安守本分，不愧对良心，尽己所能。做人不过就如此而已。

2011-04-12T09:53:00.004+08:00

it's times like these that make me wish i could go back to those good old days in hostel. just the few of us. where we were forced to accept one another (BOTH the good and the bad).

there was no bitching underneath.
NO, we were no angels, but bcos we've been pretty naked having lived through those years together, there wasn't a need to bitch.

there was no secretly disliking someone while pretending to be good friends on the surface.

aren't that what good friends are about?

you say everything. you don't hide.

"your room is in disgusting shape. can u do smth"
"you're damn lazy and your results arent fantastic. can u start studying"
"you're like a sin curve. can you learn to control ur emotions?"
"stop being late, i hate it. please change!"

and to know each other so well that even if this person were to be a bitch and piss you off, somehow, somehow you'll find a way to internalise and accept that. because that's part of her and you're not trying to change anything.

i definitely haven been the best of friends. i have a big temper, but those who know me well have accepted it all these while.

yes, accepting. that's what differentiates a good friend from the others.

you accept her even if she's being a bitch just like the 12345 bitches outside.

you can have 12345 friends whose personality will piss you off in the same fashion. but if you've gone through enough to accept that this particular friend is like that, no matter how much @#$%&*&^*&% shit she does, you'll put up with it.

for now, i'm not willing to put up with this shit.

bcos i dont foresee keeping such a volatile friendship anyway.

good luck with life. i hope there'll be friends true enough to inform you about that low EQ of yours.

2011-04-06T13:01:00.005+08:00

spent the entire morning (3.5 hours to be exact) doing nothing but watching dance videos.

Super Junior dance battle

another Super Junior dance battle

SHINEE - Lucifier super sync prac

2PM - I'll Be Back @ MBC Gayo

Donghae & Eunhyuk - Because of You (Choreo)

EUNHYUK ftw!

Billionaire (Choreo)

Beautiful Girl (Choreo)

sick!

2011-03-25T11:13:00.005+08:00

我相信世界末日。但人家说这几年的天灾比人类数千世纪以来的要多、要频密，我不同意。从古至今，天灾就是地球的定律，从来变的是人类的心态。谁说小时候那没有天灾？
地球没变，是我们长大了。

2011-03-23T17:09:00.003+08:00

yesterday in school, i donated $20 to the red cross fund in aid of the quake & tsunami victims.

i donated thinking that that's the only thing i could do to make anything better, if at all.

hoping that the world we live in can be be a safer, happier place.

but now that i think about it, it seemed more like to make myself feel less guilty for the safety and peace i have been so rightfully living in.

is it very selfish, that we donate with the thought of making ourselves feel better? :<

2011-03-22T22:59:00.005+08:00

最重要的決定

主唱：范瑋琪

我常在想應該再也找不到
任何人像你對我那麼好
好到我的家人也被照料
我的朋友還為你撐腰

你還是有一堆毛病改不掉
拗起來氣得仙女都跳腳
可是人生完美的事太少
我們不能什麼都想要

你是我最重要的決定
我願意　每天在你身邊甦醒
就連吵架也很過癮　不會冷冰
因為真愛沒有輸贏　只有親密

你是我最重要的決定
我願意　打破對未知的恐懼
就算流淚也能放晴　將心比心
因為幸福沒有捷徑　只有經營

没有比这更贴切的歌词了

在看的同时也一直在掉泪，一直在想如果是我的好姐妹们，我会怎么样。

这世上可以让人开心的事情，除了自己的幸福以外，就是看见在乎的人幸福吧？

祝我的好姐妹们永远幸福、快乐！:)

2011-03-19T22:35:00.003+08:00

TUE ::\ siew bao \ hokkien mee \ homecooked dinner

WED ::\ salak south porridge \ hk plaza zi char

THU ::\ egg tart \ soya bean \ ampang yong tau fu \ homecooked dinner

FRI ::\ starbucks \ cut hair \ aunt's homecooked dinner

SAT ::\ chee cheong fun \ mushroom sea cucumber \ curry \ dumplings \ mian xian

TMR ::\ imbi pasar toast bread \ BACK TO REALITY - SINGAPORE :'(

2011-03-14T21:35:00.004+08:00

it's scary

:\

it feels like the end of times.

even if it's not,

there's nothing we can do to make anything better.

such is the powerlessness of humankind when confronted with disasters, even when some of them are man-made.

2011-03-08T17:28:00.004+08:00

there's french test tomorrow.

je ne comprend pas francais!

and i realise how much i dislike european languages. (PS: im a true blue AhTiong at heart)

much regretssssss about not taking korean this sem. when now, im trying to learn it on my own anyway. if only i started on Secret Gdn / WGM2 earlier.

btw, *switches to totally bagua mode*, this morning hyeon bin & song hye gyo announced their breakup.

what a 乌鸦嘴 i have.

2011-03-07T21:42:00.002+08:00

百看不厌！

终于等到了！
全世界满满的祝福，收到了吗？

yeah!!!!:)

2011-03-06T14:54:00.003+08:00

http://entertainment.xin.msn.com/en/celebrity/buzz/asia/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4684945

HEHEHEHE ^^
不知道為什麼，我很開心!!!!

you have no idea how widely i smiled when fur showed me this. and we were both soooooooo happy.

so happy it's almost like a dream come true, LOL

2011-03-03T22:36:00.004+08:00

f(x) - NU ABO

FOR SOME WEIRD REASON IM DAMN ADDICTED TO NU ABO.

hystery hystery
달라 달라 나는 너무 달라
내 맘대로 내 뜻대로
좋아 좋아 NU ABO

its not like crazily nice but the steps *pulls shirt* just somehow keep replaying in my mind.

possessed!

KPOP dance class right now pleaseeeeeeeeeee.

2011-02-28T01:02:00.009+08:00

第一次一个人看演唱会。感觉很妙。耳根清静，剩下的只有自己和自己的对话，更靠近心灵了。那三个小时里想说的话，我都牢牢记住了，回来写给自己看。

七年了。

仍然那把声音。
仍然那种表情。

虽然还是做着（在别人眼里）幼稚的事情。在我看来，这一点也不为过。只是人长大了，心情也转换了。

『沒有驚天動地　沒有掌聲讚美
前路遙遠沒空氣　仍期望到最後會一起』

-- 百听不厌的就要数这首。最不做作，所以最耐听。

『像花虽未红如冰虽不冻
却像有无数说话可惜我听不懂』

-- 唱着别人的歌，他也有他自己动人的地方。

『當　這感覺未發生　不知道你光臨
我大概還可繼續散心』

-- 还是喜欢听他唱以前的歌。他们说，人最爱的永远还是老歌。因为回忆永远最美。回不去的永远最美。

不知道别人有没有注意到，两句歌词说中了他的心情。也是这么多年来我看着他的心情。

『當這世上全懷疑我錯
總有人相信我』

当全世界都怀疑的时候，就是证明自己的时候。流言蜚语，你真是少一点忍耐力都不行。做得好，总有人相信。

也就是为什么我这么多年来都很难跟别人解释喜欢的原因。在某一种程度上他代表了我想做到的那样，从什么都不是的时候我就期望着他有这么一天。现在看着每一步慢慢实现，即使那梦想从来不属于我，我也就当作他成就了我的梦想。

有时候真的为自己的不容易变心感觉满满的骄傲。庆幸上天赐予我一颗不太宽广的心，容不下太多人。

唉！“别人笑我太疯癫，我笑他人看不穿。”

2011-02-20T14:15:00.001+08:00

今生今世不用再追
有了你即時平凡卻最重要

2011-02-09T22:43:00.003+08:00

恕我不够了解你，
恕我不愿花时间了解你。

这么喜怒无常的友情，

恕我没有力气承担。

2010-12-15T01:11:00.003+08:00

"Life is not an iPod to listen to what you choose and your favorite songs. It’s a radio, you must adjust yourself to enjoy whatever comes in it."

LOL.

but how many of us still listen to radio nowadays? :(

2010-12-15T01:09:00.002+08:00

"When you have to make a hard decision, flip a coin. Why? Because when that coin is in the air..you suddenly know what you’re hoping for."

i like to plagiarise lovely quotes from everywhere.

2010-12-09T00:56:00.004+08:00

“少年不知愁滋味”

青春真的很值錢

2010-12-07T17:33:00.002+08:00

'Sorry' is one of the hardest words to say in the whole wide world.

A thousand times harder than 'I Love You'.

It probably doesn't even exist in some people's vocabulary.

People, please learn that word well and use it as and when appropriate. It's easy to start - by opening up your mind, and recognizing that you're not always right.

2010-12-01T10:20:00.004+08:00

im dying to know
how their parents look like.

tried googling but to no avail.

damn it whoever says life is fair.

2010-11-25T17:43:00.001+08:00

what a random and awkward kind of rain, lol

but who cares

i love it just the same :]

2010-11-24T23:58:00.003+08:00

discipline, discipline, discipline.

according to what i learn in psychology, i'm having cognitive dissonance. keep talking (and THINKING even as i was walking) about the tonnes of work i have yet to do, and how important these last 2 sems are. yet not doing anything to make things better.

the bad thing about psychology is, it tells you about the problem, but hardly the solution.

:(

2010-11-17T14:11:00.004+08:00

母校！

看到这支ＭＶ的时候不知道有多激动

那四年的青春岁月　：)

不完美，
但美好

2010-11-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

a little encouragement goes a long way.

thank you:)

2010-11-08T17:24:00.002+08:00

it's scary. the moment you lay down your signature on what is technically a white piece of paper.

the kind of binding power that comes with what we call 'contract' in law.

the kind of obligations you are subjected to once it's signed, and sealed.

hi, today is the official "make or break" day of my life. it's almost like how things usually unfold in dramas. all within THAT SPLIT SECOND, where a decision you make could change ur life, in whichever direction.

choices. choices.

i keep thinking abt this video of a talk that ks showed me some time back.

about how choices, instead of making us happier beings, often achieve the opposite effect.

how so? 2 main reasons were cited:

1) When we're given options, the opportunity costs of making a choice are significantly increased. And the opportunity costs increase with each additional option given.
2) When you're given soooooo many options, and yet you end up with a lousy option that makes u worse-off, you have no one to blame but yourself.

OMG. what logical and painful truth.

and the amazing thing is, it applies exacccccctly to what is going through my head now.

but in any case, i've already made that choice.

soooo many ppl have told me, "No turning back", "Pls, dont look back", and lots of other variations but all along this line.

yes okay, i promise i really will try. and i cant thank you guys enough, for helping me sort out my thoughts for the past few days.

i had that one chance to make it right. i better make it right.

2010-11-05T00:57:00.002+08:00

都说了上天很眷顾我。

我又彻彻底底的被宠了一次！又赚了一次。

长这么大，没有遇过这么难做的决定。

从前，决定虽重大，但都很明确。

这次真的不一样了。

要为自己负责。

好吧，相信你！不会错的。

2010-11-03T20:51:00.000+08:00

有也烦
没有也烦

真的很烦

超烦！！！！！！！！！

2010-11-02T22:14:00.002+08:00

i think Someone up there is treating me really well.

all my life i've been so fortunate i can hardly think of anything to complain about, including this time.

destiny's been really kind to me. thank you.

2010-11-01T14:25:00.001+08:00

把手握紧
里面什么也没有

把手松开
你拥有的是一切

- 《卧虎藏龙》

2010-10-23T13:27:00.002+08:00

CANT WAIT ALREADY.

SO. BLOODY. DESPERATE. TO. WATCH. THIS.

hello next week, pls zoom past, ok?

2010-10-22T23:27:00.003+08:00

MAMA, IT'S OVERRRRRRRRRRRR :D yay, this week has finally come to an end.

BUT BUT BUT

ANOTHER 3 + 3 NXT WEEK. i really dont know to be happy or what.

WOOHOOOO, if this week was hell, nxt week is hell x 2

i really am starting to consider MC-ing BA309

2010-10-20T22:40:00.003+08:00

to describe this week, i think crazy is probably an understatement.

but i think at the end of the day i always have Someone above to thank, not sure who but i know there must be one, for looking over me. on the train ride back i looked up, naturally, at the sky and uttered a work of thanks. it's been a challenging day, but fulfilling one as well.

TWO MORE.

actually im more worried abt FYP AND THOSE 3 MID-TERMS T.T

thank goodness i also have these events and these people to make my life a little more interesting during this wartime.

AND YES, THANKS TO FACEBOOK INBOXES for keeping me very much entertained and in touch with the dearies and the toppies.

they are like Energizer :D

2010-10-15T15:25:00.002+08:00

你说过的永远
说好要带我去

2010-10-13T16:36:00.001+08:00

you know what.

it's one of those times,
that you find out who you treasured most, and in return, treasured you the most too.

2010-10-12T23:56:00.001+08:00

dancing always feels sooooooo good.

but i'm just not good enough.

LOL

2010-10-11T16:58:00.002+08:00

heeheeee so satisfyingly happy!:)

gambateh, you!

i'll get somewhere, somehow.

2010-10-09T14:11:00.003+08:00

"Life was so much easier when decisions were solved by eenie meenie miney mo & goodbyes meant tomorrow."

haha, the good old days.

2010-09-30T00:13:00.001+08:00

and i say yes,
you are wonderful tonight.

2010-09-28T23:31:00.002+08:00

this is unbelievable, and crazy.

but pls be safe.

you will be.

2010-09-20T00:12:00.007+08:00

went prawning last friday and i was describing to my mum how i couldn't bring myself to poke the satay sticks through those struggling and dying prawns. i had to turn my head away each time someone did it. and she said,

"oh... but nvm one la. prawns are so small, they cant feel so much pain"

LOLL. my mum has this weird theory that the pain animals feel is directly proportional to their size. (ie. ants feel much less pain than say, elephants)

really?

just because they cant scream and moan like we do.

did my hp101 readings just now. and there was this part that says when deciding on a being's rights, the question to ask is not 'Can they reason?' nor 'Can they talk?' but 'Can they suffer?'

2010-09-19T11:12:00.008+08:00

如果你四肢健全
如果你識字
如果你三餐溫飽
如果你有多餘剩錢
如果你有大房子車子
若果你知道有父母是什麼樣的感覺
如果你有家人疼愛你
如果你有男/女朋友寵你
如果你有比男女朋友更要好的知心朋友

你真的應該知足

"人本來就寂寞的，借來的都該還掉。"

世界本來就不欠我們什麼

反而我們欠下的債，

好像這輩子都還不了。

2010-09-14T23:43:00.005+08:00

如果你看過 TVB 2001 年的《歲月的童話》

你不一定喜歡那套戲
但你肯定喜歡這首歌

這麼多年后，仔細看歌詞，原來很美

你有過青梅竹馬嗎?

你和他看過夕陽嗎? 爬過樹嗎?

你和他最後怎麼了嗎?

你,
還想他嗎?

人終究擺脫不了時間,
"時間, 製造缺陷不停"

我個人非常喜歡的版本, 技巧不是最好的, 但是聲音是最動人的:

留意歌詞

從前曾搭著膊在照相
公園裡共你比賽攀樹上
還有什麼歌　都亂唱

插著褲袋哨子吹響
看夕照是如此漂亮
一切
就這樣分享

2010-09-14T21:25:00.001+08:00

free koi + oldchangkee chickenwing, currypuff, carrotcake for block supper.

jcrc finally upped budget :D

2010-09-11T00:36:00.001+08:00

had my first (ahem) illegal driving lesson today. stressed max. but i think my (ahem) illegal instructor more stressed. :D

2010-09-08T00:47:00.003+08:00

"Dont ever say we weren't made for each other, cause the way I see it; we weren't made for anyone else."

Crazily horribly hopelessly romantic quote.

But i like!

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

2010-09-02T12:08:00.001+08:00

morning workout! (:

2010-09-01T17:06:00.004+08:00

i have a good feeling about this semester. i can see what's coming.

rid of commitments.

2 free days for tutorials and projects.

gym every thursday morning.

hall volleyball trainings.

occasional career talks and networking sessions.

lesson on saturdays hence less outings and hence less money spent.

one last year in school, i understand how precious it is going to be. i will keep to these resolutions diligently.

except that hall (or maybe its just this block) is getting quieter. it's ironic. those who used to be around, i wasn't close to every one of them, i didn't like all of them. but i just wished more rooms were occupied, more friends could be seen along the corridors, even if we do not stop and greet, even if we have nothing to talk about. by just being around, it will make a difference somehow.

2010-08-31T22:32:00.001+08:00

即使走過幾趟遠路
如何都掙不開歲月擺佈
這刻收一收腳步
為對方拍拍滿身的塵土

2010-08-28T21:22:00.004+08:00

These are my kids, a year ago.

And these are my grandchildren, a year later.

Scenes of FOC 09 that ran through my mind in these few days, so so precious. I realised I haven't let go of them. Playing this caretaker role had to be one of the most magical memories. A short 6 days but I know I have left behind so much more, for them and if not, for myself.

Amazingly Awesome Apus. we do wonders.

2010-08-14T16:58:00.004+08:00

malacca tomorrow! (:

four cars.

one family.

love such spontaneity.

chinese new year gatherings aside, i haven had big family outings for a long time.

i haven felt this kind of love for a long time. ♥

2010-08-14T00:08:00.003+08:00

in less than a month, i finished:

Buzzer Beat
Beauty of the Game
Cupid Stupid
Fistful Stances
Black & White
Shining Inheritance

lee seung gi is such a sweetheart.

mark zhao is the new sexaaay.

and zaizai is, ohmy, what a surprise.

2010-08-02T14:37:00.003+08:00

im going to

PENANG!

long awaited getaway with the babes, and just the babes.

no one else :)

2010-07-20T11:58:00.005+08:00

finally saw what the hype was all about. inception was mindblowing, literally. some details of the story were simply too obscure for a typical human brain to comprehend at first viewing, but the emotions that underlie the entire plot were easy to grasp - in a way, those are emotions we can all identify with, at least a part of it.

i dont usually like question-marked endings but this one was an exception. the idea of endings being open to interpretations is an apt one, because it's dreams we're talking about here - we all read our dreams differently.

i wish my dreams could be as clear as those in the movie. they are never so real. and mine never ever make sense, which is why i hardly wake up from a dream feeling overwhelmed or affected, because even my nightmares dont make good sense. haha. well, in another sense, i think im happy enough with my reality, thats why. we should all be.

2010-07-18T03:02:00.006+08:00

a good good night out with the dears :)

back to where we spent 4 best years in life together.

once again, im convinced, when you have good company, it really doesnt matter where u go, and what you do become immaterial as well.

the second home

the 南洋女子中。 :D

next time, lets come back together,

all 9 of us.

9th year.
these people have been around for half of my life.

2010-07-16T13:47:00.002+08:00

when you invite someone for an outing,

how often do you get this?

"erm... who's going tommorow ah?"

i get very sick of it.

if your decision of attending is contingent upon some other people in the group, please, just dont go. seriously.

if u're not comfortable enough, dont force it. at least i know i wouldn't.

2010-07-15T16:03:00.002+08:00

last week, 2nd last day. and all of a sudden i dont feel like leaving work.

HAHAHA

i must be mad.

i concluded that i just dread starting on the report, thats all.

2010-07-12T23:26:00.002+08:00

mama....
World Cup's overrrrrrrrr
:(

for once i wished this month wasnt so fast

it's another four-year wait.

that's if the world doesn't end in 2012. lol

2010-07-06T13:27:00.003+08:00

到目前為止，我看過最酷的生日願望：

“我的生日願望是，
希望每個知道我名字的人，
不管你在何方，
過著什麼樣的生活，
都能健康快樂。”
- 阿信

我以後生日也要許這樣的願

請記住了

2010-07-03T19:52:00.006+08:00

竟然有人把我最爱的歌都串成一起了

awesome medley starts at 1:25

有了你开心D
乜都称心满意
咸鱼白菜也好好味

我与你永共聚
分分钟需要你
你似是阳光空气

2010-07-03T13:59:00.000+08:00

FOURTH ALBUM

cant wait!

fung's in sg today, and i missed it :(

2010-07-01T17:31:00.002+08:00

next week this time ; )