May 29, 2008 @ 7:45 AM
it's been a while since i kept myself fully awake on the company bus coming to work in the morning.
i couldnt sleep at all. a very disturbing scene this morning at the amk cross road.. 3 policemen were carrying smth wrapped in a big white plastic bag. and it took me a while to register that the outline of what they were carrying resembled a man. and then i never felt peaceful throughout the ride to my company, and up till this very moment when im typing.
it started me thinking alot again, as usual. many questions ran through my head. who is it? how old is he/she? how did it happen? has the family been informed? oh and why am i assuming he/she has a family? not everyone has the luxury of that. could be an old man/woman who was long abandoned by sons and daughters?
i was thinking, if only i had decided to be a little lazier and wake up a little later to take the public transport, i wouldn't have seen what i saw. and for a moment i hated myself for having such a thought.
again it reminded me of what a weak person i am. i cannot take death. i cant go to sleep when actually i saw nth bloody or revolting at all (the scene was quite cleared by the time i was there). i just dont want to believe that a life has been lost. just like that.
but actually it happens all the time doesnt it?? and to my own amazement, the world continues to go round and round! the cycle of life and death is as normal as it can be. i'm the feeble one who refuses to face it.
just like how in past instances, i broke down at the crematorium where uncle's body lied, i broke down throughout the 3 days of my aunt's wake. and how i couldnt control my tears when a month ago i saw my uncle having difficulty eating, occasionally shedding drops of tears as dad muttered nxt to his ears that qianqian (what my family calls me) is back frm spore to visit him.
once again i concluded, im not as strong as what others usually think of me.
on the bus i prayed. prayed that the victim who has just left the world be resting in peace, be brought to a more beautiful and happy place than the one that he lived in. and i prayed for the world to be a better and happier place, where we could all become better persons.
seriously. it's a blessing to hear the alarm clock every morning, it means you're still alive. it's an even greater blessing to set the alarm clock at night before you go to sleep, it means you've just earned yourself another day to live.
May 28, 2008 @ 10:22 AM
one of the most unromantic love letters i've read:
---------
My Dear Love,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in your trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when avector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. (shit, the horrors of chapter 7.1 - integration)
You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.
My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
Yours ever loving,
Pythagoras
-------------
ha mathematicians.
it's so funny and so !@$@#%#$ at the same time :D
you know it's time to break up if somebody ever writes this to you.
May 26, 2008 @ 12:49 PM
This is a conversation between a mother and a daughter.
D: Mama, papa will not let me have the toy.
M: It's ok darling, I will go talk to him.
D: It's no use mama, he keeps thinking he is the head of the house and has the right to make decisions...
M: Now don't you worry, he may be the head of the house, but I am the neck. I can turn the head anyway I want.
Moral of the story: being head is not a good thing.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
May 23, 2008 @ 12:40 PM
is there anyone else who's going to make donations to myanmar/china? wait.
let me know please. i can help u do it thru my company. for every $1 that u donate, my company will donate another $1! so if u pay $20, u actually donated $40! all the proceeds will still go to red cross.
smth i read on another blog, just want to share it with everyone:
"No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."
没有人说生命一定会无风无浪，日子一定会好过，但是我们要相信自己会挨得过。
May 21, 2008 @ 1:30 PM
ooh i just realise smth. i think i've realised it before, but somehow forgot about it after that. wong choong hann has 2 n's in his 'hann' like i do! mwahahahahh. cool name cool name!
im updating for you single 'n', you stalker.
yes, thomas cup!!
it's like all i wanna say about my life for the past few days (apart frm declaring that it's my first time making donations to aid catastrophes!) so, you non-badminton watchers would probably not understand the below post so you can switch off frm here on.
i just did one of the most desparate thing in order to catch china vs malaysia live on tv. ha, shall not mention here. it resulted in my mum getting rather irritated - "is badminton really so nice to watch??" yes ma, it is. ask daddy, he'll agree with me heh.
yea, about the semis. unlike past defeats, the one this time can actually be said as 'glorious' if that's the right word to use. (read) at least we managed to shock china (as well as ourselves) by forcing them into the final set. but kkk and tbh were disappointing, as usual. olympics gold is getting ever more elusive...
sorry, hua chi time, my dearest fuhaifeng:
(shuai not! yen!)
anyway, does this half-sleeve jersey really look that bad? the forum ppl have been lashing out at its 'feminity'. i think okayyy leh... in fact i think some look quite good in it what. like him:
taufik and family. when asked if he'd be present to watch the finals, he replied smth like, "i'll see if the situation allows. i miss my baby already." awww ^o^
my current most favourite picture:
china malaysia :) my two favourite teams! been waiting to see this clash since ages ago since i missed the 2002 one :(
anak bangga malaysia:
i did smth intellectual!
i actually went into wikipedia to read up the whole history of badminton and other random info to do with it. <3
i wanna join BWF!
May 15, 2008 @ 10:54 AM
there was smth wrenching inside when i looked at headlines after headlines featuring pictures of countless young faces buried under the rubble. i know it's hard to justify, but it always pains me more to see small kids/young ppl dying. this is not being very fair to all the other victims, yet gut feeling tells me that kids, tender as they are, deserve a chance to grow up so that they could look at the world in greater detail.
the other day nui was asking for opinions by giving me scenarios in the medical field - dilemmatic cases that involved making a choice btw saving the old and the young/the old and the pregnant. i observe that my answers to all the scenarios were slanted to saving the young and the premature.
i rmb reading this somewhere, either in some article/some blog, that goes smth like this:
我们可以肯定躺在棺材里的一定是死人，但不敢说他一定是老人。
seriously, what has our earth come to?
sometimes i cant help but go back to think about one of the most cliche questions in life: 可怕的到底是天灾，还是人祸？
i would choose to think that it's just earth's way of telling us who's the king. there are some things we just have to make do in life - nature is one of it.
May 14, 2008 @ 4:21 PM
the highlight of thomas cup in the first round has been the fact that the Koreans "fought hard to lose", and more disgustingly, they were so obvious about it.
but this line i picked up from the news interests me more:
中国队总教练李永波认为，韩国队主动输球是他们的权利，並不需要质疑或者谴责。
“韩国队只是利用了游戏规则，但中国队不会这样做。”
no offend to the PRCs, but seriously, im so sickened by the fact that he dared to even say such a thing, when the whole world knows who is the most underhanded of them all.
it's pathetic that sports is no longer what it should be when it's carried out in a competitive setting.
May 13, 2008 @ 2:55 PM
一直很喜欢诗旻的blog。只是从来未告诉过她。
她的世界里，有音乐，有梦想，有对文字的执著，有对家人的体贴，有对朋友的关怀，更难得的是，她有着对这个世界的真诚关爱与想法。
那是一个会让我读着读着，自己会不自觉流下眼泪的地方，真的，包括在我打着这一行字的一刻。
看她的一字一句，让我觉得自己很可笑，平凡得不能再平凡。
流眼泪有很多原因，大部分时候眼泪出自伤心与失望。但有些时候，眼泪更多是因为感动的同时也意识到了自己的不足。
我也是一个爱做梦的人。分别在于，我有梦，但我不敢去找我的梦。
从小到大有很多事是想做的，但是由于各种原因最后总没有做成。我的梦多得不能再多：
- 从七岁开始，我就很享受在台上演讲的滋味。训练很辛苦，每一次都会练到哭，但我还是喜欢，小时候的志愿是当新闻主播，方若琪是我的偶像，但在六年级的全国比赛后，这个梦便不了了之。不是因为比赛成绩不好，也不是因为不喜欢，是因为现实告诉我：不是每一个主播都能像方若琪一样。
- 我很爱华文。像这样东写写、西写写。但是自己又不够好，也没有那个胆量，能做什么？
- 我很爱很爱羽球，从懂事以来便爱到现在，这是受爸爸的感染。但这个梦也只坚持到我11岁那年。现在看到羽球员在场上一挥一拍都那么顺心如意，心里好羡慕，因为我永远只有做观众的份。
- 很想出国看看。不是移民的那一种，我不是那种会觉得“外国的月亮比较圆”的人。就只是单纯的想出去走走看看，见识见识，认识不一样的人，欣赏别人的文化优点，看看自己环境的不足。
可能是因为家里从来就不有钱吧。经济的问题让很多梦想都没法实现，也就是为什么我比较知足，也甘于现在的平淡。家境较平凡的孩子，都知道这个世界没有钱是万万不能，所以要赚更多的钱父母才会有好生活过。
我最大的愿望，就是令家人过得舒舒服服，希望朋友个个都走到自己想走的路，希望地球天气不要再恶化下去。这样子说出来，比起那些有梦敢敢闯的人，觉得自己很肤浅。
我甚至想过，敢做梦是一个天生的本性，学不来的。什么甘地、约翰列农、马丁路德金，他们细胞里就是装着“敢梦”两个字。或者除此之外，他们也只不过是最平凡的人。那是一个本能，没有这个本能的人（我们），没必要勉强。
越写越觉得自己真的很没用。
我天生没有这个“梦”的本能，只能安慰自己，从最平凡中活出自己的精彩。上天给每个人的任务都不同，只要尽量不留遗憾，或许就够了。我真的很会自我安慰。
May 12, 2008 @ 9:48 AM
i once again forget to bring my mother's day card to post today. judging at the efficiency level of the Posmalaysia, by the time it reaches my mum (assuming that it reaches) it would probably be 2 weeks late. zZzz....
anyway, i shocked myself ytd by getting myself a watch!! yes, i AM wearing a watch now, after 6 yrs. ok, i did attempt to wear one last yr but it got WASHED tgt with my pants 2 days after i bought it so i got abit pissed and decided i wont try to buy another one in a long long time. anw, water resistant watches are usually expensive and expensive watches usually dont look very good (my own theory). so, the one i got this time is non water resistant(i think), cheap but gdlooking. hah yea rite, just an excuse for getting cheap watches.
bought this canvas flats as well. and this Miss Scatterbrain shirt. ha, finally got the yellow one. i wanted Sunshine initially, but it doesnt look good on the yellow background so too bad :( nui was commenting that the Miss XXX shirts look too bimbotic, but i insisted that they're cute. just that i think they're abit too ubiquitous? so i shall wear it nxt time when not so many ppl on the streets are wearing them :S
ooh here....
the reason contributing to me and nui's late night sleeping and dark circles:
watch 舞动奇迹 EVERYBADEH!
(not the taiwanese drama)
the nxt pair of onscreen partners i wanna see married :D
May 9, 2008 @ 10:02 AM
I GOT IT I GOT IT!!
phew.
no worries now, dad & mum :)
someone above has been looking over me for the past 6 yrs, things ran smooth, many wishes granted, i basically love my life. and now, thanks for extending that kindness for another 3 yrs. couldnt have been more thankful.
i have nth to repay except to be the best that i can be.
May 5, 2008 @ 2:06 PM
i lost track of how long have i not blogged.
just here to say that, BIGGG PHEWWWWW...
the interview went well, i think. at least not as horrible as the one that i'd pictured ytd. it was so scary. i read the blogs of ppl who went down for the same interview and they had merciless interviewers, like rather mean ones. and killer questions like "Which is the bank that is facing a crisis now?" / "Do you subscribe to business magazines???" 灯灯灯凳 !! (sorry, only for the canto-literate heh) so i guess the panel i had today was a lot better. at least they did not try to be funny and make me feel like wanting to sink my face into the ground. guess they look pretty satisfied with most of my answers?
ugh shit. i shouldnt start thinking this way cos i can totally imagine how horrible i'll feel if i dont end up getting the scholarship :(
pleasepleasepleaseeeee. give meeee!
it's like the scholarship that im most desparate to get (ok those PSC/EDB/MAS/SAF/SIA scholars you can laugh all you want), it's pretty prestigious, considering that im only studying local.
the nxt 2 weeks is gonna be so excruciating. after which if i do not receive any reply...haha you'll know what that means.
